Tricks of the trade for global Indians seeking marriage.
By Shradha Aswani
Spoiler Alert – This article contains specific details about characters and situations that may dilute your experience of the show. We recommend reading it after you’ve had a chance to catch the new season.
It’s been a while since the new season of Indian Matchmaking (2020- ) came out, and the desi in you has probably already binge-watched it with your friends or family. While its plot twists and debatable candour have received mixed reviews, there are thinkers that the show leaves you with, especially applicable to the modern way of seeking long-term partnership.
Here’s a list of the takeaways that stuck with the team at Masala whilst watching the show.
First impressions matter
Whether your checklist is as unrealistic as Aparna’s or as reasonable as Viral Joshi’s, the impression you make the first time you meet somebody is often non-rewriteable. And we don’t mean this in a restricting, shallow sense that focuses solely on one’s physical appearance. Rather, what is important is the effort you put into bringing your best foot forward, including but not limited to, accentuating your best (physical and non-physical) features, actively lending a listening ear, and unapologetically expressing who you are.
Respect given is respect earned
What Nadia did to Shekar shall be listed as unforgivable in the manual of relationships until the end of time. When someone prioritises you, their honesty must be reciprocated, no matter how slow you think the progression is. They deserve to know you are not into them before they see you kissing someone else, at a party, or otherwise. If you don’t learn that soon enough, be prepared for a Vishal to (metaphorically) slap the lesson onto you the hard way.
Leave the pressure for diamonds
The Indian arranged marriage scene can be grilling. With families involved right from the word go, it can be hard to stand your ground. Even if your family or matchmaker seems to get impatient with you, settling should not be the start of a relationship that you are going to spend your life in. It is important to hold your ground, and when you do, you might just find your perfect match unexpectedly, like Shital did.
Most important compatibility check: wanting the same things out of life
We admit that more often than not, the show does tend to take nuance away from the process of finding a partner. However, when you look deeper into the matches that have the potential to work out, be it with Arshneel and Rinkle, or Pradhyuman and Ashima, you find them built on a foundation of two people wanting the same things out of life. This can be as small as getting married with a big fat Indian wedding ceremony in Udaipur, or seeing a future with children.
100 percent toh nahi milega
It’s important to understand the difference between an outright compromise and making do with petty peeves that are small compared to the main qualities that make you compatible. You may have a hundred things that form your ideal in your head, but a better way to approach your hunt for a partner would be to sit down and draw up a list of priorities that are non-negotiable for you, whether it’s politics, vegetarianism, taking your family pujas seriously, or wanting children. This way, the 60-70 percent that you end up with, according to Seema, is based on things that hold true significance for you.