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How has motherhood changed you? Community members spill the chai

by Aiden

Life lessons from our little ones!

By Narisa Phichitsingh

The moment one becomes a mother, one is forever changed. And one can simply never go back to that pre-motherhood point. I quickly learned and experienced that the physical, emotional and mindset changes of becoming a mother are unmatched by any other major life event. Not only are all my online searches regarding my daughter, my level of protectiveness and my daily routines are forever challenged and altered. I start my day at 5am to my daughter’s voice saying, “Mama, Mama, Mama,” telling me, in the best way she knows how at this age, “I’m awake! I’m awake! Now let’s go out and play!” Instead of sleeping in on the weekends, I am playing slider with my 14-month-old at 6am, I spend my free time pumping each night so my daughter can receive as many antibodies as possible, and I watch potty-training videos instead of the latest shows on Netflix.

Apart from all the fun that we have each day and the new bond that we share, my husband and I also have numerous heavy conversations about her growth, nutrition, and development, and how we can provide our toddler with a good childhood. Like all mothers on this earth, we worry, we plan, we obsess, we laugh, and we constantly try to balance it all. I talked with three other mothers who are role models to me about how they have evolved through motherhood.

Rasmeet Sachdej

Motherhood has profoundly changed every aspect of my life. I often say I didn’t give birth to my daughter; she gave birth to the mum and woman in me I never knew existed. As a young mother with minimal help, I remember always feeling overwhelmed, scared, and exhausted while managing her newborn stages, doubting my abilities constantly. After having my second child, I was able to calm down and enjoy the moments more. These are a few lessons I learned in my motherhood journey:

Doing Something for Myself: I started my own business when she was six months old, as I needed something to which I could divert my attention. It really helped me stay sane, and it became my business and creative outlet.

Trusting My Gut Instincts: Mums, new and experienced, always receive a wave of unsolicited advice that can drown out confidence. No child is the same, so what works for others might not work for me, and vice versa.

Realising the Learning Journey: I was learning how to be a mum while still discovering who I was as a woman, which meant making mistakes along the way and accepting myself.

Recognising Strengths and Weaknesses: Being okay with asking and receiving help, recognising that I don’t have to do everything for my children all the time, and that doesn’t make me a bad mum.

Finding a Balance: Balancing my life and goals while giving quality time to my kids because a happy mum means happy kids.

Emotional Regulation: Learning how to regulate my emotions and deal with my insecurities so I don’t pass it on to my kids – a lesson I wish I grasped earlier.

Giving Support to Other Mums: Extending support, acknowledgment, a helping hand, and grace to other mums because we are all trying to do our best with the deck of cards we have. In the ongoing journey of motherhood, these lessons have shaped my growth, resilience, and unwavering commitment to doing my best for my children while fostering support for fellow mums.

Rani Sachdev 

Before becoming a mom, I did not fully understand the work, energy, and sacrifice that went into the role of a mother. Motherhood changed me in the best way possible. I had no idea it was possible to love someone so deeply and profoundly that I would never be the same again. Motherhood has this way of making me more easygoing, adaptable, and in tune with my instincts. I learnt that things don’t have to be perfect.

For example, my daily routine is completely thrown off now! Spontaneous hangouts and late nights are not as frequent, but I’ve learned to embrace the unpredictability. On the work front, I’ve transitioned to part-time, ensuring I have more days to dive into adventures with my son. It’s a bit of a juggling act, but it strikes a balance, allowing me to savour the precious mum moments while staying connected with my professional side. The beauty lies in navigating this new chapter with flexibility, embracing imperfections, and cherishing the authentic joy that motherhood brings. It’s a wild ride, but one that I wouldn’t trade for anything!

Jasnam Sachathep 

We’ve all heard the phrase, “hands full, hearts full.” That’s literally been motherhood for me. I have two kiddos, Kavi who is turning five and Jaanvi who is turning three. Anyone with a toddler knows that life is a rollercoaster, and so can you imagine having two? I’m a very family-oriented person, so my kids are my life but as they grow and change, parenting only becomes that much more challenging with each phase of life. I have had to really keep my calm and forgo many things. I’ve had to refocus my values to make sure they align with the way I raise my kids. I constantly try to remind myself to be the best version of me that I can be, as my kids will eventually become my ‘mini mes!’

I am a spontaneous and social butterfly by nature, and having kids places limitations on that since I choose to put them first. My social scene had to be carefully optimised and now includes my kids!

In terms of my marriage, I have really had to prioritise time with my husband. Having a conversation is not as easy as before with ears everywhere (literally) and constantly-divided attention. I have had to really learn how to give my time and attention to both my kids and my husband in a healthy and happy manner.

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