Why “Healing” Has Become a Personality

Somewhere along the line, “healing” has become not just something we do, but something we identify ourselves with.

Nowadays, it has become very common to come across someone who would say something like, “I am on a healing journey”. And most of us would react supportively or empathetically, like, "good for you", or "I am glad you're taking time for yourself". We are seeing this as something completely normal or even something to respect.

The younger generations have grown up giving importance to being emotionally expressive. This is because they grew up in a world where mental health is openly discussed.

Social media has also become a platform where people don’t just post photos but share their mental health journeys, posting about growth, healing, and trauma.

In a way, it helps them feel understood and not so alone when they realise others have gone through the same thing. But it has also become something you show more than feel.

Healing became a personality because it stopped being private. Once people could see it, they could also start being known for it.

Healing starts becoming an identity when people take this label as something they are rather than something they do. They give themselves identity-based labels like “I am an anxious person”, “I have attachment issues”, or “I am trauma-driven”.

People are also in constant healing mode and end up justifying themselves using protective language: “I am not ready yet”, “I need to work on myself first”, or “I am still healing”. While this sounds healthy, it can become a loop.

I remember reading a book called Master Your Emotions by Thibaut Meurisse, where he explains the idea of observing your emotions rather than becoming the emotion. The core idea in the book was that emotions are temporary, not your identity.

For example, instead of saying, “I’m healing my inner child,” which can turn into an identity, you can say, “Some old feelings are coming up, but I’ll still do what I need to do, just more slowly and gently.”

And instead of, “I’m choosing myself, so I’m stepping away from everything,” you might say, “I need a bit of space, but I’m not avoiding it, I’ll handle it at my own pace.”

So the whole healing personality is basically like giving shape to something confusing, and it can give you the sense of, this feels right. But what happens is slowly, you’re not working on yourself anymore, you start seeing yourself as someone whose whole identity is “healing.”

The problem isn’t healing itself; it’s when you put on a show about it, even in your own head.

Sometimes, what people call a “healing phase” turns into an excuse. You tell yourself you’re “working on things,” but in reality, you’re avoiding the hard parts instead of facing them.

For example, avoiding uncomfortable conversations, being disciplined, and actually changing. So this label is replacing the work that needs to be done.

Telling yourself you’re healing can feel pretty convincing, like you’re making progress, even when nothing’s really changing.

For many, it can also feel like pressure to keep the identity. If healing becomes part of who you are, letting go can feel strange, almost like you’re losing a version of yourself.

But at the same time, holding on too tightly to this identity can actually slow you down.

In our parents’ and grandparents’ generation, especially in India, mental healing wasn’t seen as a phase you go through. If one tells the other, “I’m not ready for this yet, and I am currently healing,” most would be like, “Are you ill?”

At that time, you just dealt with things and moved on, whether you understood them or not.

But in today's time, mental health is taken more seriously, and more people are becoming aware of its importance. So, it has become much easier to express what we're going through without shame.

But there’s a difference between constantly identifying yourself with the struggle and becoming aware of it and choosing to outgrow it. This kind of mindset can hold you back.

Healing isn’t meant to be something one holds on to forever, but something you move through.

Want to figure out when being a bit delusional is okay and when it’s not? You might like our article, What Being Delulu Really Means and When It Goes Too Far.