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DEAR AUNTY D: MAY 2021

by Natasha

Aunty D advises you on matters of love and life.

KID YOU NOT

Dear Aunty D,

I’m facing a problem that I think many parents out there will resonate with. It goes without saying that I love my children, but that doesn’t mean I’m always pleased with the way they behave. My youngest child is becoming more and more aggressive and it’s getting out of control! He refuses to listen to anything I have to say. It started off verbal, but now he has started being physically disruptive by throwing things around. I’ve tried everything – tough love, babying, attempting to understand his aggressiveness – but nothing has worked, it hurts me to see him like this, how do I handle this behaviour? 

Dear Kid You Not,

COVID has drastically upset his routine; no school to wake up to, no birthday bashes to look forward to or plan for, no family outings, and no weekend dinners or movie sessions. The financial tension reverberates, and kids do pick up on it. He’s stuck at home, and unable to play outdoors with friends, so he’s spending time watching TV or playing games on his phone when not studying online, all of which leads to irritability and mental exhaustion. He’s bored and also feeling ignored whilst the parents work online or are busy with household chores. It’s a tough phase, but he does need some extra attention and a lot of patience from your end.

SALTY

Dear Aunty D,

I’m so sick of my husband berating everything that I do. I’m doing my best for him and for my family, but nothing seems to be enough. He keeps comparing me to this mother, especially in terms of cooking. I get that I may not be a qualified chef but that doesn’t give him the right to treat me this way and be so critical towards me. I chose to be a housewife and I’m a really good one but he doesn’t seem to be appreciative of anything that I do. I’ve tried telling him that his mum and I aren’t the same and never will be, but he doesn’t seem to listen or understand! What do I do?

Dear Salty,

Missus ji, give the poor chap some lax. He’s stuck indoors with you and the brood 24/7, he’s starved for personal space and missing out on the chance to mingle with the ‘boys’ for a jog in the park, gup-shup over lunch in the office, or a night out in town, with not even the chance for a basketball or cricket TV night with them. He’s also under extreme duress with the present financial scenario. Thus, he’s regressing back to those long-gone carefree, and blissful childhood days when nothing mattered but sleep, play, and eating mummy dear’s spoon-fed cooking. If she’s alive, tell her to send food over to her son every day; save yourself the hassle and grocery bill.

WIPE IT OFF

Dear Aunty D,

I don’t understand why my mum keeps coaxing me to learn how to cook and clean. I’m a son and busy enough as it is, and we have maids to help us around the house. It’s not my responsibility at all and I have no interest in house chores whatsoever but my mother doesn’t care about anything I have to say when it comes to this. It is a waste of time to cook and clean when we have hired helpers to do that for us. How am I supposed to get out of this?

Dear Wipe it Off,

You are one very fortunate munda (dude) to have a rare specimen of Indian mum who has her head on her shoulders facing the right direction and at a correct angle. Son, open your mind: she is preparing you for
the real world, where she won’t be with you. It’ll be you and you alone, and let’s see how many days you’ll love the pizza and the ajinomonoto-smothered Chinese takeaways. Down the years, your wife and your kids will remember and be thankful to her for a dad who can cook and feed them a decent meal when mum needs to work or is away.

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