Masala Magazine Thailand

Home » Nama-Slay: ‘Twas the Night Before Indian Christmas

Nama-Slay: ‘Twas the Night Before Indian Christmas

by Aiden

Sumati Huber reads us a festive poem.

‘Twas the night before Indian Christmas, when all through the houses in the sois,

Every creature was stirring because have you ever heard of quiet girls and boys?

All the families were sitting at their dinner table eating their food,

But it was a Christmas feast of daal and curry because we are Indian, dude.


The Christmas tree was all lit up with the A/C and humidity making windows frost,

Daddy was complaining about how much this month’s electricity bill will cost.

The children were excited by the wrapped boxes scattered under the tree,

Daddy told them, “You better appreciate it because nothing is for free.”


Auntie was at the house for dinner because her cook was off,

This excitement over Christmas made her scowl and scoff.

“You are forgetting your culture,” she scolded the kids with scorn,

“You stay up late for the birth of Jesus but won’t come to temple on the day Krishna is born.”


This comment got all the grown-ups talking,

“It’s true, they won’t learn to make roti but will hang up a stocking.”

The adults agreed it’s better to get money envelopes for festivals like Diwali,

Versus Christmas with presents like socks and underwear from a man who is jolly.

Kids know all the words to Christmas songs and it brings them glee,

But they roll their eyes when it’s time to do puja and sing arti.

The elders found it silly that kids are bribed with material things to be good and chipper,

Whereas Indians can easily teach these values with the receiving end of a slipper.


Suddenly from outside there was a loud commotion,

Like the kind you hear when relatives boast about Sandeep’s promotion.

It sounded like bells jingling and chatter reminiscent of children at play,

Was it a Christmas miracle with ol’ Saint Nick and his reindeer-pulling sleigh?


The family ran outside to see what it could be,

Maybe Santa would be coming down the chimney to the tree?

But alas when the scene finally became clear,

It was a wedding baraat passing through with much pomp and cheer.


“You see this?” Auntie exclaimed as she pointed to the groom being carried,

“The families can finally rest easy with their children getting married.”

So for Indian Christmas the best gift of all,

Is to quickly have your wedding in a grand hotel hall!

 An unreformed party girl and mother of two, writer, editor and observer Sumati Huber tries to make sense of our unique Thai-Indian society and the aunties that she will one day become.

Related Articles