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Nama-Slay: Every Encounter with Your Beautician

by Aiden

Sumati Huber proves that beauty is pain.

Finally, you have called me to come! Hai, you really have full growth this time. You shouldn’t wait so long to do, we still have to maintain ourselves for our husbands you know. 

What do you need first, eyebrow threading? OK, hold your lid tight. No, not like that, hold it here. No, not like that! Have you been plucking? I can tell. No, no, you have to hold the lid tighter like this! [Thread snaps]

I’ll do upper lid now. No, you must do, I can see very fine hairs. It’s not nice, we still have to stay sexy for our husbands you know. [Phone rings] Yes, yes, what time do you need? OK, one of the girls will come later, today is very busy, there are many weddings happening. 

Put your mouth like this now. Hai, I can see even here has so much hair. I’ll just go a bit more to your cheek and sideburns. Even your chin has so much growth. Those are hormone hairs, you must take them out. OK, now full face is clean. Never mind, it’s normal for it to be all red, I’ll put aloe later. Tomorrow it will be fine. 

I have the premium wax today. It’s the chocolate one, it has the best smell. It’s just a bit more expensive but you don’t mind, right? It really takes the hair out from the root so it will grow back less and finer. Just keep doing it, you will see the difference soon. 

My gosh, so many ingrown on your leg! Have you been shaving? I can tell. You should scrub before you do wax, all the ingrown will come out and the skin will be so smooth and beautiful. Let me just pick at this ingrown very roughly with my fingernail to get it out. What do you mean that’s not clean? I washed my hands before I started! All my girls are the best, we have super hygiene. It’s just a tiny bit of blood, never mind, I will wax over it now. 

See that? All the hairs are coming out so nicely. Your skin is looking so clean and bright now. [Phone rings] Yes, yes, I will come back for lunch, just make the aloo gobi. I have many appointments today. Ok, ok, sure, bye. 

Do you need underarms? Oh, you do laser hair removal there? That doesn’t work for Indians. I’m telling you the premium chocolate wax is the best, don’t waste your money for laser.  

Do you want to do massage today? We have the best massage. Head massage, back massage, leg massage… It will remove all cellulite and make you slimmer also. We get our oil special from India. Next time you should book. 

Or try our bleach. We just did it for Priya, she is getting married this week. Now she is looking so fair. Are you going for that wedding? I did her whole house, waxing, threading, bleach, massage, facial…

Why don’t you try the facial also? You have so many blackheads! Try it next time and you will see a big difference. We have to stay beautiful for our husbands also you know. 

Ok, finished now! I’ll just put the oil. You’re looking like a different person. Next time don’t wait so long to call also. I’ll bring the premium wax again. 

An unreformed party girl and mother of two, writer, editor and observer Sumati Huber tries to make sense of our unique Thai-Indian society and the aunties that she will one day become.

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