For them, three’s the magic number!
By Jasnam Sachathep
“It takes a village to raise a child”: We’ve all heard this century-old quote, but I never truly understood it until having children of my own. In today’s world, the ‘village’ is not only the manpower required to raise a child but also the resources, money and time, to name a few. The world has changed and priorities are different now. Marriages are taking place later than they used to, women have more opportunities to study and work, so reproduction is not the main purpose anymore. Family planning as a whole has changed, and nowadays, people prefer fewer children compared to the full band they had before. The new preference is one or two, with a rare sighting of three or more!
Here are voices from a few mothers in the community who have three children, who were asked questions ranging from what their average day looks like to possible financial pressures on their decision-making. As we can see, even though their hands are full and life is a whirlwind, they manage to make it work.
I truly believe that each child brings their own blessings and growing a family has no right number; it is such a personal choice and up to the couple and the mutual understanding that they have for what they want.
SONIYA MADAN
Children aged 6, 11, and 14
You’ve heard that three is the magic number, and it’s true! There is definitely something about the number three in my life that is sacred. I have three boys, my husband’s birthday is on the 3rd, and I do three roles: wife, mother and CFO of @swisswatchbkk. If you had told meIwouldbeherenowat40,I would never believe you!
My days are divided between the weekdays and the weekends. On the weekdays, I wake up at 6am, get the kids ready, prepare their food, take them to school, drop them off, and reach home by 8am. Then I have breakfast with my husband, and we have a short discussion updating each other on the business dealings for the day and other things. At noon, I take some me time with yoga and cardio at home, then work online before I go pick up the kids. In the evenings, I prepare dinner for the kids before we read together post- dinner. Weekends are full of the kids’ classes, social events, and late mornings.
In the beginning, it was difficult to carve out time for my husband and myself as a couple, but we then adjusted our routine to be around each other as a couple and as a family as much as possible. Sometimes if we feel we need to catch up emotionally and spiritually, we will take a holiday together and reconnect.
Moving from two to three kids is a really big change. The main challenges we encountered were balancing attention between the three kids; increased daily workload like organising meals and laundry, etc.; logistics such as car space and hotel rooms, which become more complicated with a third child. However, the emotional rewards far outweigh any of the challenges. The family bond becomes stronger, and there is more of a sense of fulfilment in watching the siblings grow and interact.
Being a mother is the most special feeling, but also the most challenging phase of life, especially with three children, as you have to be very strong and patient. However, it is a deeply personal choice that depends on many factors unique to their circumstances and preferences. Ultimately it depends on the respective parents, as there is no one-size-fits-all answer. People’s decisions should align with their values, resources and aspirations.
RACHNA SINGHSACHAKUL
Children aged 4, 7, and 16
Three is a charm! Having three children is like the perfect recipe for my family – not too crowded, nottooquiet,justright.Imaginea family with enough personalities tokeepyouentertained,butnotso many that you’re outnumbered! Three’sthesweetspot,wherelove multiplies and the dynamics are always dynamic.
My day starts with a symphony of alarm clocks and school drop- offs, as all three of my children go to different schools due to their age gap. After the morning school rush, it’s a whirlwind of work meetings, afternoon school pickups, soccer practice, and the occasional, “What’s for afterschool snacks?” crisis. Our evenings are filled with laughter, bedtime stories, and, yes, a bit of chaos too. It’s a rollercoaster ride, and I’m the fearless conductor, loving every moment of it.
Yes, the quest for ‘me time’ and
couple time can be an endless one these days! With three kids, you’re like a master juggler, balancing work, family, and your sanity. We have a set date night once a week to embrace our time together, and we also plan two vacations a year without the children. Sometimes, we just need a conversation without one of our children joining in! [Laughs] But here’s the secret: it’s all about teamwork, and you discover that stolen moments become more precious than ever. I always believe that if you prioritise someone, you’ll always find time for them.
Going from a duo of kids to a trio is like adding an extra layer to your family sandwich. Suddenly, you’re debating a minivan vs. an SUV, and deciding where to go for your holiday trips because each of them wants different things. But at the end of it all, when you see your oldest daughter helping your youngest tie their shoelaces for the first time, you realise that the chaos is pure magic.
Picture yourself as the CEO of a bustling household corporation. Time management is your superpower. To-do lists, work meetings, school meetings, and being there for your child’s favourite activities, all become your best friends. It’s about embracing the organised chaos and knowing that, sometimes, a quick dance party or an evening movie time with your children is the best break.
Financially speaking, adding one more to your crew means you’ll need a bigger dining table and perhaps a few more zeroes in your budget. School, activities, and vacations can be pricier, but here’s the thing: the experiences and memories you create are worth every penny. As for whether to have three kids? Well, it’s like taking on the wildest adventure of your life, full of surprises, laughter, and love, but always worth it. I would not have it any other way. Three is always a lucky charm.
Finally, embrace the chaos, cherish the moments, and revel in the joy of being a family of five!
NAINA KHANIJOU
Children aged 3, 5 and 7
Three isn’t a number that we planned, but it’s a gift that we received in our blessed lives. What does a day of any full-time mom seem like? You may think we sleepily rush ourselves out of bed to handle the kids’ day, but for me, I try my best to set up a regular morning routine. This helps me to eagerly look forward to all the drama that is sure to follow. Most importantly, I try my best to wake my kids with a kiss or a hug.
Even though I am not employed outside, I love my job as a homeschool teacher of my 3-year- old boy, who keeps me quite busy and active. No workouts needed with him around! Other basic mama’s duties such as drop- off, pick-ups, listening, scolding, yelling their names, stopping their fights, running about, feeding, showering, etc. are regular daily happiness.
As a caveat, their grandparents also play a major role in making motherhood serene and precious to me. Moreover, there should be another interview for the father of three! I am lucky to have a fully hands-on husband, even though I must frankly say I don’t give enough time to myself externally. From the inside, I have never felt happier and more contented. At the same time, the love and appreciation I get from my familyare immense, and I am thankful for it.
As for time with my hubby – if you’ve ever been through those ‘secret dating’ years, you know that every moment you get to be together should be cherished. It’s the same for us now because regular dates are, at the moment, almost impossible. However, we adore each other dearly every time we go out on special occasions. Personal secret: I still do get butterflies in my stomach; it seems like we were married yesterday and not 11 years ago.
PRIYA SINGH SACHAKUL DOOWA
Children aged 4, 9, and 9
Three is the magic number! We didn’t choose twins or having three kids, but it was what God gifted us. Saira was a surprise baby. I only learnt I was pregnant after my visit to Amritasar, Harmandar Sahib (The Golden Temple). We truly believe God chose us as her parents. We feel blessed to have her as part of our family.
It is challenging to balance time in a day with the three girls. Between balancing work, exercise, meetings and playdates, I try my best to make sure I have given equal time individually to all three. As for family time, we make sure dinner time together is screen-free time. It helps us share about our days and communicate better with our girls. Family time is so important, and the girls understand that’s how Mama and Papa communicate too.
Every member of the family brings their own energy and love. When Saira was born, the twins were turning five years old, and we were in the middle of renovating our home. There were some challenges in terms of balancing my days. Luckily, the experience of having twins helped me immensely. The transition was quite smooth, and I was much calmer as I knew what to expect.
Samaya and Savara were always included in every step of the transition in welcoming their sister. From shopping for Saira, room set-ups, nappy changes, and nursing, I chose to have my girls with me every step of the way. I felt it was important for the girls to grow and understand how baby Saira was changing our routines; and what it means to have a younger sister. This also gave them an opportunity to bond with her right away. It was very exciting for them to have a younger sister and be part of taking care of her.
