Nama Slay: The Visitor Trap

Everyone, wake up! Abhishek and his family are arriving in two days to stay with us. We need to clear out everything we have stuffed in the guest room and no one is allowed to set foot in there after. I will lock it if I have to! Their visit with us needs to be even better than if they stayed at a five-star hotel. 

What do you mean, “why don’t they just book a hotel?” Why should they have to spend money and trouble themselves? So what if they can afford it? I would be so offended if they didn’t stay with us.

Make sure the bedside tables in the guest room have doilies placed on them. In fact, find all my doilies and place them on every available surface. I want doilies when water is served, under the vase with the fresh flowers that I will order every day, and at the daily evening teatime.

That reminds me, how is the kitchen looking? I’ll have to host at least three lunches and dinners to invite everyone to meet our auspicious guests. We need to have five appetisers, at least eight main courses, and a big dessert spread. We must have a variety of dishes. I want a different menu every day. Make sure the teatime snacks are also different. We cannot just be serving the same thing over and over. What will they think of us? It’s just four days, we must give our guests the best of everything while they are here. 

Everyone, wake up! Abhishek and his family will be arriving today. Please remind the driver we need to leave promptly at 2 PM for the airport. I will obviously be going to pick them up too. It would be nice if everyone cleared their schedule to greet them when we get home. We will come back here and the tea and snacks must be ready. They have requested we serve dinner at 10 PM, so make sure everything is prepared. Even if they go out, there always needs to be fresh tea and snacks waiting for them. 

Abhishek, welcome! Please make yourself at home! Anything you need, you can ask me or the staff. What will you all want to do tomorrow? Oh yes, you want to go to Platinum. Great, the driver will be with you all day. We have hired an extra driver for this week also. 

Of course, I will order all the dried foodstuffs for you. I will definitely get packets of tom yum cashew nuts for you to take back home. And dried mango. I will call my lady to arrange it, yes I know the one from the supermarket doesn’t taste as good. 

Wow, you bought so much at Platinum. Wow, you got an extra suitcase also. No problem, you can keep it in our bedroom with all the other shopping bags. It’s 7 PM, shall we have dinner now? Oh, you would like tea and snacks first, then you will rest from shopping all day? OK, I guess dinner at 11 PM isn’t too late. 

Sure, you may bathe in our bathroom, I know you need the water pressure to be just right. Sure, I can book you another massage today after dinner. How many more times are you planning to go to Platinum this week? Yes, I’ve made us a reservation at the new tapas restaurant tonight. 

The driver will be ready to take you to the airport at 11 AM tomorrow, and of course I will come to send you off also. What’s that? You’ve decided to extend your trip for another week and are already booking tickets to come back in December? Oh, you’ve told masi and her family to come stay with us also? Wonderful! We were planning to go on holiday at that time but I’ll just cancel our plans. 

I did tell you to make yourself at home, after all.