The Sassy Side of Sixty: Rediscovering Love Beyond Consumerism

I’d like to think that Valentine’s Day was meant to give shy, teenage boys a chance to try their luck at winning over someone they had a crush on.

But then, consumerism adulterated both the purpose and our minds to equate and measure love with gifts, even when we already had that affirmation beyond any doubt.

This is especially true about those whom consumerism ignores, and we ourselves tend to take for granted, like our parents, grandparents, and our siblings—the very people who’ve always loved us and will continue to, through thick and thin.

Subsequently, reaching this very far side of 60, we’re also rediscovering and reconnecting with another individual who we’d pushed aside earlier on, while spreading ourselves too thin on all and sundry but this particular person—one who took the first breath with us and will exhale the last one simultaneously, me and myself!

In doing so, we’ve chosen authenticity over approval from others and finally see ourselves as individuals most worthy of being understood, accepted, and loved.

Even though we might have become invisible to the world and were, and are still, far from perfect, we no longer perceive our many flaws as weaknesses and deficiencies.

Now, there were challenges that we managed to overcome and continue to, through our individual strengths, which we seniors are proudly lauding below:

• I’m meant to be enough, and I am enough; even in a crowd.

• During those darkest days, the one thing that helped me emerge from the other end of the tunnel was my willpower, my will to live, to be there for my children, who were still young and needed me. I couldn’t leave just yet. Consequently, that resolve, that tenacity, miraculously made the therapies and medicines heal my body, my system. I’ve learnt to love myself and put that self before everybody else.

• My “can-do” attitude. I don’t get disheartened when things don’t go as planned; I bounce back pretty quickly. My perseverance and positivity—believing that things happen for a reason and trusting the process—have helped me stay motivated and resilient.

• Not the loud, dramatic kind… but the quiet, steady resilience even when I’m exhausted, unsure, or overwhelmed. There’s a part of me that keeps going, adapts, learns, and refuses to let it break my spirit—even when it’s heavy.

• It’s a strength that carried me through responsibilities, motherhood, losses, and the moments when I was falling apart but had to hold strong. It’s that strength on which I built my life, grew in my career, supported a family, guided others, to become the woman I am today.

• I identify very well with exasperation, but my short memory is the one thing I like about myself, because then I don’t hold grudges, and that’s liberating; the downside is, I don’t remember the good things either.

• My ability to keep going, even when things get tough. I don’t give up easily, and it’s that resilience that’s made all the difference.

• Post cancer: faith in God, the doctor, and the curiosity to learn stuff to help me, to heal me.

• Discipline in every aspect and a firm trust in myself and my capability to cope with any and every situation!

• Perseverance.

• My sincerity, honesty, loyalty, and a no-nonsense personality.

• Learnt to let loose and to go with the flow rather than react to what I see as unfair, good or bad, or not aligning with my thinking and my liking. Mostly, I don’t care anymore about what mattered so much earlier. Life is in the here and now, and it’s fine.

• Up-beat even when things are bad… faith.

• Integrity.

• Nothing else but dogged determination; when others quit, I don’t.

• Surrendering to the things/events that are not in our hands and learning to thank with love for the given opportunities/facilities during this stay. You may call them strengths or survival qualities, but I’d call them a boon.

• Principled; honour and duty-bound.