Nama Slay: How Respectful Are You? Take the Respect-O-Meter Quiz

Respect is an essential foundation of Indian culture, and any eye-rolls and “modern” lectures about equality and freedom can guarantee you will be banished to a corner right next to the folks who talk back to elders and scoff during a puja.

Are you the one who was raised “correctly,” or do aunties have plenty to say about your behaviour?

Take this quiz to find out, even though chances are you will fail anyway!

A) Call her “auntie” anyway because she’s very clearly an auntie and should stop pretending to be part of the young, cool group.

B) Apologise and ask her what she would like to be addressed as instead.

C) Never speak or make eye contact with her again.

A) A job reserved for your podiatrist or pedicurist.

B) A beautiful gesture that imparts blessings and humility.

C) Getting harder and harder as we get older and start having back pain.

A) Mentally use your left middle digit to make an inappropriate gesture while powerfully ranting that the left hand being considered “dirty” is ludicrous in modern times. Ever heard of hand soap?

B) Quickly change to use your right hand and pray a little harder for making this offensive mistake.

C) You usually sit in the back of a pooja, so no one really notices what you are doing.

A) Nothing. They said they didn’t want anything.

B) Put out a massive spread of garam chai, pakoras, samosas, barfis, laddoos, cakes, and everything you keep ready for such occasions.

C) Offer them water.

A) Attack with your best Punjabi and put granny in her place about how much women have achieved, both inside and outside the home.

B) Nod and agree while telling her she’s absolutely right.

C) Listen quietly while looking around for the snacks, so you have a quick escape when things get really heated.

A) Go on a rampage about who decided what “appropriate” means and wear exactly what you want unapologetically.

B) This never happens to you because you are always dressed appropriately.

C) Quietly change and make sure your outfit is bright and vibrant.

Mostly As:
Wow, you have succeeded in giving aunties and uncles plenty to talk about with your disrespect. Your parents don’t know where they went wrong with you and are scared to take you out in public. The good news is your younger cousins worship your rebellion!

Mostly Bs:
You are the dream respectful Indian, always ready to bow down and touch any elder’s feet before they have a chance to stop you. You play by all the rules and are invited to every auntie gathering for your sweet nature, and so they can say, “Bless you, beta.”

Mostly Cs:
You’re not here for a fight; you’re just here for the food. You’ve mastered the art of peaceful coexistence with customs you may or may not agree with, and make sure not to ruffle any saris. The best part is that you leave every situation with your snacks and sanity intact.