Musings of an Aunty: Finding gold in life’s cracks

I love antiques, be they furniture or pottery, and despite being as careful as one can be, accidents do happen.

It was painful throwing things I loved away, and yet keeping the fragmented pieces, or the vase that had a crack running down its front, seemed quite meaningless.

But it is what it is, and I did what I did, but now, in hindsight, I’m kicking myself.

Despite living in Japan for so long, I was clueless about this awesome and unique technique that treats the damage of the object as part of its history, and actually highlights it, instead of disguising or hiding it.

This method goes even further and beyond to honour its brokenness and the resilience thereof, by sealing the potential crack or joining the fragmented pieces with pure gold-dusted lacquer through a traditional method called Kintsugi or gold joinery.

Aptly termed, since kin means gold, and tsugi means next phase; a sequence; a continuation; the afore-damaged piece is lent an extended lease to life, in a new, one-of-a-kind look.

This 15th-century art form is the aesthetic embodiment of the Zen-inspired, overarching doctrine of Wabi-sabi, loosely meaning ‘flawed beauty’, centring on appreciating and embracing the authenticity of imperfections that occur naturally with rustic, weathered, and aged objects.

It serves as a reminder of the fleeting and inevitable cycle of growth and decay, whether of things or ourselves.

It hopes to guide one towards spiritual enrichment by encouraging a life of quiet simplicity; of contentment and serenity, while acknowledging and embracing the imperfections and transitoriness in nature, in things, in people around us, and, more importantly, in ourselves.

The emphasis is on nothing lasts, nothing is perfect, and nothing is ever quite finished, even if broken.

This philosophy also applies perfectly to us, especially when we feel life has let us down and we have let life down, when we experience that feeling of ‘being broken’.

Which could be triggered by something far from being earth-shattering or unredeemable, but sometimes, life hits us in our weakest moment, and we buckle.

Whatever the reason, it disrupts the ability to function normally or to feel joy and love.

This “broken inside” feeling erodes faith and trust, and one struggles to see the goodness in others, and sometimes, even in God Himself.

Also, since being broken is, regrettably, a social stigma, one withdraws and feels isolated, though that might not be the reality.

It crushes one’s self-esteem and engulfs one with despair and a sense of being unworthy and useless, and worst still, a loss of hope of becoming whole and fully repaired ever again.

Nevertheless, we are all human, erring and fragile, and though we think we run the course of our lives, we are at the mercy of much more than what is in our control.

In essence, being broken isn’t the sum of one’s life; it’s just a chapter that needs to be read, objectively.

Then, dig in the heels, stick out the chest, chin up, and tap into the boundless reservoir of strength and resilience we’d forgotten we had deep inside of ourselves all along.

Next, do whatever it is that needs to be done.

Remember, being broken has its purpose; a chicken emerges from the cracked-open egg; smashed coconuts kick off inaugurations; a glow-stick is just a stick, till it’s snapped, and a heart, never broken, can never comprehend real love.

An anonymous person illuminates the necessity of being broken, thus: “When life breaks you, it is because you are ready to be put back together differently. Every piece of you that feels shattered is a piece that will find a new place, a new purpose, a new meaning.

Trust that the cracks are where the light gets in.

And sometimes, in our brokenness, we find our greatest wholeness.

We find the courage to rebuild, to reimagine, to redefine what it means to be strong.

You are not broken; you are breaking through.”