Musings Of An Aunty That Tells Us We Each, Are Beautiful, In Our Own Unique Way ‘Grow From Inside Out.’ – Swami Vivekananda

The first thing I’m going to do this weekend is to clear the bookshelf of all the self-help books, and, while I am at it, also toss out the cookbooks, as there’s no way I can measure up to even the shadow of the shadow of Martha Stewart. On top of that, I absolutely will not pass them on to anyone nor to any institution, ‘cause there’s nothing crueler than to hand over something that compounds and aggravates one’s preexisting sense of inadequacy and ineptness. In fact, what I’d do is wrap these ‘conscience irritants’ in multiple layers of thick, brown paper, then bind them real tight with packing tape, and then dump them into a sack. Then, just to ensure they are never seen or read again, I’ll weigh down the sack with rocks, much akin to ridding a murder victim. Next, I’ll hire a boat to take me over the deepest part of the Chao Phaya River, and there, in the dark of the night, I’ll discreetly release the ‘body’ to its final resting place, where no man will ever be able to access it.

Down there, the fish, eels, turtles, and the water monitors can’t read, but even if they could, neither they, nor the land animals, nor the birds in the sky nor the creepy-crawlies ever question; ‘why do I look like this and not like that’. They have no ego hassles, nor do they grind themselves to dust, fulfilling endless desires. Without much ado, they blissfully go about doing whatever their kind was meant to do; be it the maggot that feeds on dead flesh, or the current heartthrob, Moo Deng, who, despite being aired live 24/7, continues doing what she does best: nothing, and that too, without the slightest guilt!

In Suan Lum, there are trees that are bent and some others, ram-rod straight; a few are gnarled, while some burst with blooming flowers. They neither feel better nor lesser about themselves because of how they are, nor does their multiplicity bother us. In fact, it is this very diversity that makes the park walk that much more interesting. However, when it comes to viewing our fellow humans, we lose that equanimity and immediately start judging and comparing: are they better, or am I? When the reality is that there’s no one better nor worse, nor anyone smarter or dumber; neither is one person superior to the other. We are each distinctively different and inimitably unique; there are no twos of you or me; you are you, and I am me. We are who we are, dissimilar, and with no void needing to be filled by trying to be that someone that we are not, and were never meant to be. In the grand scheme of things, we’ve come with exclusively designated roles for which we’ve been endowed with specific strengths, and forewarned to be alert and aware of our individual weaknesses.

Let’s embrace our unique selves using Byron Katie’s insight; “Without what you’re thinking and believing about you, take just a moment, drop your story, look in the mirror, and notice, altogether, how beautiful you are.”

Subsequently, if we could only see ourselves and others without the strapping of country, colour, religion, gender, physical limitations, or social strata, then we’d not only allow the other person(s) to reach their full potential but also free ourselves to grow, bloom and blossom into the fullest and best versions of ourselves. The truth of the matter is that the socially attached adjectives have blinded us to the reality that we are not separate, but share a common identity; that of being a human!

“You are an asset to the human race, an asset to your Self, an asset to God…You are beautiful just the way you are. Not what you think you are. Not what you appear to be. Not what the world shows you, but just the way you are right now. Stand up tall.” – Robert Adams.