Breaking: Indians Spot Other Indians at Restaurant

SUKHUMVIT — The Chopra family (legally registered as Choprapaporn in Thailand) was enjoying their weekly Sunday night dinner with extended relatives at their so-called “favourite” Italian restaurant. Actually, this establishment wasn’t really their favourite because all the aunties in the family always complained about how salty the food was, but the staff here were accustomed to dealing with large groups of Indians. Everything was proceeding as usual, with all the family members chit-chatting at the same time but not really listening to each other, when suddenly the atmosphere at the restaurant became eerily tense. An awkward silence took over the Chopra family table when, out of the corner of their eyes, they spotted something unexpected.

Other Indians are walking in through the door. Uncle Raminder turned to his wife with curiosity on his face, then they both directed their gaze simultaneously to stare directly at the Indians walking in. Auntie Lovely — who, despite her name, had never said a lovely thing in her life — very loudly demanded, “Who are these people?” The rest of the elders stopped chewing, holding their spoons mid-air, while they intently gawked at the Indian group entering.

Aware they were being stared at, the Indians walking in politely acknowledged the Chopra relatives with a sheepish nod, and quickly rushed past them to be seated at a distant table. Not mere seconds before the Indians had passed, and while they were very much in earshot, the Chopra family became lively again:

“Do you know which family they are from?”

“I don’t recognise the kids. Why does the boy have so many tattoos?”

“Who was the non-Indian with them?”

As they investigated, naming all the family trees in Bangkok and beyond, the Chopra adults kept craning their heads over to look at the other Indian table. Every so often, when eye contact was made between the two parties, the atmosphere became uncomfortable again.

The younger Chopra family members, unbothered by such trivial matters, did not notice the other Indians walking in as they were too busy looking at their phones. When they realised the dinner discussion had turned to identifying who the other Indians were, they were mortified at the obviousness of their family’s nosiness. “Stop staring! Who cares who they are?!” 17-year-old Kitty screeched even though no one paid any attention to her.

As the Chopra dinner came to an end once they “checked bill”, the waitress reported the dishes on the table were left largely untouched. “They made me tell the chef to change all the sauces to pink sauce and modify every menu item,” an exhausted server, Poom (not her real name), recounted. “They told me the food was too salty, but I know they barely ate anything because once the other Indians came in, they were too distracted by looking at them.”

The disappointment also extended to the Chopra family, as they left the dinner without ever figuring out who the other Indians were. It was reported they continued the discussion on the car ride home, but would soon move on from this incident the next time they came face to face with another group of Indians.

Sources at the restaurant said it’s most likely that the other Indians were visiting from Delhi.