What makes it so difficult for Indian men to seek help, or even take the first step toward therapy?

We all know them—the keepers of baggage. The ‘big boys’ of (desi) families who’ve inherited the mantle of keeping the peace—for everyone but themselves. Despite therapy being widely endorsed by public gures, a vast majority of Indian men still shy away from, “doing the talk.” Experts who’ve dug deeper into this issue have found that hyper-masculine ideals—like suppressing emotions, dominance, and aggression—are directly linked to widespread emotional harm and the reinforcement of unhealthy behaviours. A study published in Psychology of Men & Masculinity found that men who suppress emotions due to traditional masculine norms are more likely to experience depression, anxiety, and loneliness. A similar perspective fuels a finding by the American Psychological Association (APA), which highlights the dangers of “toxic masculinity” and the urgent need to redefine emotional expression in men.

CLARITY IS KEY

While a gentle nudge is helpful, many young Indian men believe the urge to take the first step must come from within. And that’s only possible when there is genuine clarity and trust in the process, suggests Mihir Jain, a creative strategist.

“Seeking therapy to clear my thoughts, get a sense of direction, or simply vent came very organically to me. No one had to push me to speak to someone. Even back in eighth grade, when I was having a tough time with my friends, I instinctively reached out to my school counsellor for guidance. Over the years, I’ve spoken to various experts on different issues. So, for me, talking to a counsellor felt natural and was never something to be embarrassed about. I’ve always been open about therapy and actively supported the idea in public,” says Mihir. He adds that the hesitation many men feel often stems from a lack of clarity and trust in the process. “I’ve noticed people asking me to connect them to my therapist—but only if I promised to keep it a secret. There’s a strong sense of taboo, fear, or embarrassment, especially if they’re unsure how therapy works or whether the expert can be trusted. But speaking to a trained psychologist is incredibly reassuring. They’re mindful of your feelings and help you think clearly. I always encourage people, in a positive way, to seek help if needed. A therapist might offer you the honest truth that helps you grow—something a close friend may avoid saying for fear of hurting you. Take the time to understand how it works and once you gain absolute clarity on the confidentiality of the whole process, it’d be easier to trust yourself and therapy.”

WHY IS IT SO IMPORTANT TODAY?

As the conversation around toxic masculinity grows, it becomes clear why so many Indian men still feel stuck when it comes to taking the first step. Dr. Ambika Warrier, a rehabilitation psychologist, says the shift can only happen when we recognise that vulnerability is not weakness.

“It isn’t easy to address something that’s invisible—because confronting that ‘invisible thing,’ also known as ‘emotions,’ can make one feel exposed. We’re all born with emotions, but many of us, especially men, are discouraged from expressing them. This leads to emotional suppression and an inability to ask for help when it’s needed, paving the way for toxic masculinity. It’s time we realize that vulnerability is not weakness. Expressing emotions doesn’t make you less masculine—it actually deepens your relationships.” Dr. Ambika encourages starting small: “As scary as it may seem, all it takes is one step—acknowledging that you might need a little guidance with your inner self. Just like a trainer guides you at the gym, a psychologist can help you with your emotional fitness. Try just one conversation. It might bring the clarity you didn’t even know you were looking for.”