“Giving grace to yourself is never more important than when you become a mother.” – Anonymous.
Summoned by God to come to see His last and best creation, the angels noticed a seepage from the eyes of this, otherwise, perfect product. That’s us moms; sentimental suckers!
Below are our community’s heartfelt experiences as first-time moms:
• Surreal exhaustion; truly appreciative of my mother! Became protective and worried, uncertain about meeting expectations.
• From then onwards, everything was about ‘her’ and no more about ‘me’. I prayed: may God who has given me this gift, give her all things good, and may harm never befall my daughter!
• Living in a large, joint family, I had a tumultuous pregnancy. Despite my water breaking, going to the hospital was much delayed, giving rise to many complications and some invasive procedures, which caused minor damages to the foetus, luckily not permanent. Then, the birthing trauma we both endured didn’t allow us to meet for the next two days, after which I hobbled as fast as I could to the nursery, and I experienced heaven as I held my newborn against my bosom. I’d miscarried earlier, so I cherished the moment the bundle of joy was placed in my lap.
• Despite the odds with the IVF, I got pregnant almost immediately and took it for granted. Being a C-section, I didn’t experience the birthing process, so motherhood initially didn’t quite sink in. I was underwhelmed and didn’t go through the idiotic, movie-type, saccharine emotions. Also, newborns, especially preemies, aren’t exactly cute and lovable; they’re almost ugly. Coming home, I became immensely overwhelmed but forged connections through breastfeeding, which regrettably wasn’t for long enough.
• Seeing my baby girl, I thought: Oh my goodness! I hope she won’t go through as tough a labour as my 24-hour, unbearably painful one.
• It’s worth the trouble…I grew in unexpected ways, learning patience, resilience, and the deep joy of simply being present. The transformation touched every corner of my heart. It reshaped the way I saw time—every day was measured in tiny milestones, in gentle discoveries, in the quiet strength of love. I quit my job and stayed home for the best two years of my life.
• I was too confused, but since the rest of the family was ‘excited and happy’, I was too. Though you love your child and try your best, I wasn’t mature enough to realise the huge responsibility. Also, ‘Time hi kahan mila sochne ka,’ where was the leisure to sit and analyse; what with looking after my children and joint family offspring, then later on, grandchildren. Mistakes were made but I learn that we aren’t perfect and neither is life. So, I went with the flow and grew alongside while enjoying, worrying, crying, laughing, and learning gratitude and appreciation. May God bless everyone’s kids.
• As the umbilical cord was wrapped around the foetus’ neck, and the legs were positioned to come out first, labour culminated in a C-section. Then, through the anaesthesia haze, I asked the doctor if I was alive. Chuckling, he replied, “Congratulations, we have a baby boy.” I was young, but for a mom, the child comes before the husband. So, I read up Dr. Benjamin Spock and asked the paediatrician a lot of questions. My sister-in-law helped teach me to bathe my little boy.
• The fascination of a little human being coming out of me was short-lived as I wasn’t pampered or fussed over and dealt with my own discomfort and looking after the baby in the government hospital shared room. Once home, I mothered with minimum fuss, and trudged through life which is one long continuation of struggles. I realised that our offspring hear us and see us; we are living example and our words and actions have an impact.
• I felt weird during my first delivery as I didn’t feel the expected love or the gushy attachment. I became overwhelmed, confused, and even sad, and blamed it on the induced labour. Bonding can’t be forced; it’s hormonal; and, breastfeeding definitely helped. In the consecutive delivery, which was natural, I felt an instantaneous flood of adrenaline and oxytocin.