Singing to the tune of “Santa Claus is Coming to Town”

By Sumati Huber

On this Holiday Edition of Nama Slay, there’s a slight twist to the popular Christmas song, “Santa Clause is Coming to Town”, appropriate for the desi crowd, of course.

Oh, you better watch out, you better not be petty,
Better not scowl, I’m warning you now, beti,
Auntie Claus is making her rounds.
She’s making her mental list, she’s not checking it once,
twice, or at all,
She already knows you’ve been naughty so
be prepared for your downfall,
Auntie Claus is making her rounds.
She sees you when you’ve been drinking,
She’ll offer her opinions without thinking,
She knows you’ve been bad all year long,
So get ready to be told you’re always wrong.
Oh, you better watch out, you better not be petty,
Better not scowl, I’m warning you now, beti,
Auntie Claus is making her rounds.
She knows who you’ve been slyly dating,
She points out when your weight is fluctuating,
She will tell you when your skin gets too tan,
Or why you should wear lipstick to land a man.

She’s making her mental list, she’s not
checking it once, twice, or at all,
She already knows you’ve been naughty so
be prepared for your downfall,
Auntie Claus is making her rounds.
She invites you to her house for tea,
She will serve you pakora and orange phad mee,
She has a box full of food ready to give you,
So next time she can mention how you’ve gained a few.
Oh, you better watch out, you better be prepared,
Auntie Claus is making her rounds with perfect hair.
She doesn’t arrive in a reindeer-pulled sleigh,
But with her driver who she scolds for
coming late every day.
Despite that Auntie Claus does more than
we could ever do,
Before you even open her daily WhatsApp that says,
“Good Morning” to you.
She might not be jolly and she definitely
doesn’t have a white beard,
Her comments and stares might make you feel feared,
But she feeds you and bestows you with gifts and gossip
about town,
We do love when Auntie Claus makes her rounds!