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DEAR AUNTY D: FEBRUARY 2021

by Aiden

Aunty D advises you on matters of life and love.

LEARNING CURVE

Dear Aunty D,

As you might have heard, online classes are back in session since COVID-19 re-reared its ugly head. Unfortunately, our teacher doesn’t know a webcam from a glazed ham and it takes, on average, 15 minutes for our classes to begin and then roughly five minutes for something to go wrong. It’s almost inevitable that our teacher will hit the wrong button or spend 10 minutes talking without realising he’s on mute. It’s driving me up the wall! I simply don’t have the patience for this nonsense and would rather learn from a book. My mother, however, is oblivious to this daily farce and insists that I attend these online classes. What should I do? 

Dear Learning Curve,

Although I am totally on the same page with you as to the stumbling blocks of online teaching and learning, it is prudent that we appreciate how quickly and efficiently the admin and the teachers grappled with this totally unusual situation and worked out a system to keep the students abreast of their lessons, while also keeping them away from TV and mobiles for those few hours. Please have patience and afford them the time to formulate and fine tune their techniques further, and God willing, we can all go back to the normalcy of physical classes.

NAME AND SHAME

Dear Aunty D,

I’ve known my friend Shrishti for almost five years and can safely say she is one of my dearest companions. I don’t have many friends around Bangkok, having moved here as an adult, so meeting her was a real blessing. Recently, however, I’ve learned that Shrishti isn’t her real name! To her other friends and family, she’s known as Alisha. I’ve since discovered that she has two separate Facebook accounts – one for each identity! What is going on? Why has she been deceiving people? Should I simply break off the friendship?

Dear Name and Shame,

Trying to figure out why your ‘friend’ would feel the need for a dual persona in your head is not going to lead you anywhere. The best approach is for you to confront her face to face and give her a chance to explain the reasons why she needs to hide behind aliases. Waqar Ahmed advises that, “friendship is delicate as a glass, once broken it can be fixed but there will always be cracks.” So, it’s your call whether you would rather be friendless or have a friend whose real name you are not sure of.

PITCHED BATTLE

Dear Aunty D,

I’m a recently married woman and my husband and I have been going through the usual post-wedding hurdles that every couple faces. While our arguments aren’t usually very serious, my husband’s voice changes dramatically when he’s dealing with any kind of stress. We’ll have a disagreement about savings and the pitch of his voice will land somewhere between a choir boy and one of Himesh Reshammiya’s more shrill ballads. The result of this is that I can’t stop laughing, much to my husband’s annoyance. Unfortunately, this has led to him becoming more aloof and he won’t approach me anymore with his problems. I think it’s damaging our communication. How can I fix the situation? 

Dear Pitched Battle,

Neither can be ‘fixed’, one needs to keep an open mind to both people and situations. No two people will ever think or feel or react in the exact same way, not even twins. A fight is an outlet to air the differences between two individuals, but it should not become a battle to defeat or win, but to hear each other’s viewpoint and come to an amicable and practical mid- way understanding and adjustment. It’s of utmost importance to remain open to conversation and discussion; once those doors are shut, it is the start of the end of any marriage.

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